I’m sitting here writing this to you on an airplane on the way out of Bali en route to Hawaii, through Kuala Lumpur and Osaka. I have certainly been on an adventure of a lifetime this past month, and as I sit here with an open heart and overflowing with gratitude, I feel compelled to share some of the larger lessons and things that I have integrated within my being as a result of spending this last month doing my DEEP WORK.

Some of you may balk at the term as a result of your current conditioning, but when I say WORK what I really mean is that I gave myself permission to do whatever it was that I needed to do for myself over this past month. That meant lots of self-care, massages, socializing, downtime and relaxation, as well as a magnitude of “real” work— writing, coaching, studying, speaking, creating, selling, and overall running my business. The “inner” and “outer” work, so to speak.

This has been one of the most highly creative and inspired times of my entire LIFE.

The first thing I noticed when I arrived in Bali, was an overwhelming sense of being thrown ENTIRELY out of my comfort zone. I was shocked by the change in culture, the new sights, sounds, the SMELLS (ARGH!), and different way of living in general.

I even had a moment of QUESTIONING if I even made the right decision— I mean WHO AM I to travel to a foreign country for a MONTH without her children, to take some time to play and laugh and rest and work and dream and enjoy myself?!? I quickly kicked myself in the ass and reminded myself of WHO I AM, and of COURSE I get to do this, and in fact its exactly what I needed to do for myself, my family, my clients, my community and the world.

I found myself for the first week or so allowing myself to just ground down, to relax and take care of my physical body. We are so overloaded with toxins and my energy and body felt like it needed a reset. I spent time detoxing, nourishing my body with quality raw juices and foods, cleansing my cells, receiving RIDICULOUS amounts of massages (you wouldn’t believe!! And SO cheap!!), going to the sauna, and even kicking caffeine!! It was surprisingly a lot easier than I thought, and I realized that before I could go deeper into my soul, I had to cleanse out and clear my physical body and energy FIRST.

I felt so much more GROUNDED and relaxed within my being. It was such a delight to not have a schedule, to not have to be anywhere at any certain time, and in the absence of daily responsibilities— taking care of kids, errands, household duties such as cooking, dishes, laundry and cleaning— I had plenty of space to breathe, relax, take care of myself and let go of everything that was no longer serving me.

After a week of massive and radical self care, I became SO READY to get back to my work!! Haha I even said I was sick of getting massages— LOL who even says that?!? I got back to the grind in my second week refreshed, revved up, energized and I dove back into my work of coaching, creating and getting back to business.

It was in this space that I really learned so much about myself.

The biggest lesson I received from this trip BY FAR, was simply just giving myself PERMISSION to be myself. I know, it might sound weird, or cliche, or maybe a bit vague, but for me this was HUGE.

I hadn’t realized how much of myself I WASN’T expressing.

I hadn’t realized how BIG my vision, goals and dreams are.

I hadn’t realized that there were parts of me that I hadn’t claimed, and even felt a bit ashamed of, and I realized that I was in fact hiding and playing small in certain areas of my life.

I hadn’t realized how I had judged myself and not allowed myself to just be who I am.

In these realizations— I was finally able to LET GO and just give myself full and complete PERMISSION to just BE WHO I AM!!! OMG WHAT A RELIEF!!!!

I had been conforming and living by standards and expectations (of my own creation) that were limiting me, holding me back and keeping me stuck. I felt stuck in a box and maybe I fit into that box at one time, and it really served me, I felt so compelled to break OUT of that box and just OWN all parts of me and who I truly am.

I felt completely stripped down to the core.

I got super fucking honest with myself.

I faced parts of me that I haven’t faced FULL ON, parts of me I didn’t even know existed.

In this space, I finally felt able to breathe. There was a great freedom allowed to me in that space. No pressure, no expectations, just BEING. And from that BEING— I am able to access the DOING— but not in a frantic, doing-to-achieve-enough-ness sort of way. Not coming from a place of fear, scarcity or lack— just simply ALLOWING this creative impulse to be born out of the place of being.

Doing from a place of being.

And that feels SO GOOD!!

It is interesting because so many people get caught up in the DOING as a SUBSTITUTE for having to BE with themselves. I find this to be a destructive habit at the root of many of my clients issues, them wanting to DISTRACT and NUMB and DO to get away from what is ACTUALLY going on inside.

What I found was that just stripping down to the core for me— is that there’s nothing else really there that I “need” to work on. For a long time this was the crux of my existence— to keep “working” on myself so that I could finally get to some place where I wouldn’t need to anymore.

After going through this last training this summer— I feel now more than ever that that phase of my life is COMPLETE. I will continue to grow and expand and lean into my edge, and for sure I am certain that things will come up for me— but what I’m talking about here is really the issue of ALIGNMENT.

The GREATEST GIFT that I received over this month was simply just getting into ALIGNMENT with myself. My purpose, my passion, and what I really want to be doing with my time.

For the first time in my life I KNOW with every cell of my being that I am on PURPOSE. Even MORE so than before— like a whole new LEVEL. I am in ALIGNMENT and I have SO much CLARITY IT IS FREAKING AMAZING.

I even have clarity on the things that I don’t know. I know that I don’t know stuff yet, or how things will play out, and yet there’s so much peace with it— because I KNOW I’m on the right path. I KNOW I’m exactly where I’m meant to be. I KNOW I’m making the right choices for me because I am living and taking action that is in ALIGNMENT with the outcome and the woman I am meant to become.

I’ve stepped out of the BOX of “who I thought I SHOULD be” and into the space of ALIGNMENT of “who I know I am and what I WANT to be.”

I feel energetically clear, aligned and energized.

The more honest I’ve been with myself about things, the easier it has been to express myself. The more I’ve been showing up for and supporting and loving myself, the more I am giving to others and sharing of myself.

It’s an amazing feeling, and I feel incredibly blessed.

I am grateful for being able to be on this path from such a young age.

I am grateful that I get to do my SOUL WORK in the world.

I am grateful that I get to CHOOSE how I want to live my life, and HONOR myself and others through that.

Because it feels really FULFILLING to live in integrity and in alignment with my VALUES and what is important to me at my core.

It feels really nourishing to be able to give myself what I need when I need it, resulting in a greater ability to show up more fully for others — so that I can lead by example and be the best mother, leader, coach, mentor, partner, lover and friend.

It is in the space of full FREEDOM that we see our true colors and we meet ourselves face to face.

I am so grateful for being able to finally SEE myself, without the masks, without the labels, without the judgements, without the expectations.

My heart feels full.

Boy was that an ADVENTURE of a lifetime!!

Bali really cracked me open. She was like the energy of the Goddess Kali— wild, cutting deep and a bit scary at first… while at the same time holding the energy of the Goddess Durga— deeply loving and motherly, strong and wise and deeply nourishing. And SO much of the energy of Goddess Lakshmi — of abundance and beauty all encompassing in the landscape, generosity and compassion of its people.

Some other random gifts and blessings of Bali:
I beat the sun each day and woke up to the sounds of a rooster crowing. Made friends with the lizards and frogs living in my room!!

I learned how to ride a motorized scooter— and definitely fell down to my HORROR and EMBARRASSMENT several times in the middle of the busy road at rush hour—the BRUISES, OMG!

I went deeper into my relationship with my body, as I extended so much LOVE to it through the ups and downs of detoxing and adjusting to new foods, new habits, and allowed it to truly come back to its natural state of health, balance and wellbeing. Which feels AMAZE-BALLS by the way!!

I manifested and hosted my very first *live* women’s circle with 8 powerful radiant goddesses from all over the world!! It was a beautiful collaboration with these beautiful souls and was SO very soul-nourishing and deeply satisfying. Love you ladies!!

I met some spiritually activated and super intriguing beings that I had the pleasure of spending time going deep into existential conversations, having fun, and re-awakening the joys of presence and connected-ness once again inside of me that had been buried for so long.

I got more massages in this last month then I think I have in my entire life COMBINED!! Bali massages are EPIC, and it became like a sacred meditation time for me.

I fell in love with yoga again.

I prayed.

I meditated.

I cried.

I let go.

I prayed some more.

I found a deep well of peace within me that I didn’t know existed.

I fell in love with being a mom again, and enjoyed seeing their faces each day on the video chat, savored the feeling of for the first time missing them so much it hurt.

I went over two weeks (!!!) not communicating with my partner — who was at Burning Man and out of cell range… which was enlightening and expansive yet also gave us the great gift of bringing us closer together in love and intimacy with each other. And I can’t WAITTTT to see him 😉

I read. A LOT.

I wrote. A LOT.

I wrote almost every day and have gotten into the habit of having a DAILY WRITING PRACTICE!!! It’s phenomenal and I feel like such a clear channel giving myself the space to write and share each day.

I also launched a new program, enrolled a few clients, ran my business like a BOSS.

I fell in LOVE with life again.

I LOVE my life.

I LOVE what I’m doing.

I LOVE what I stand for.

I LOVE how I’m show up.

I LOVE what I’m working on and where I’m going.

I just feel so much LOVE for myself and the world and I’m so EXCITED about it, I just want to shout it on top of the rooftops and throw it at the internet!!

You can feel it, can’t you? Haha 😉

I am radiating my energy out and as a result, am attracting in all of the people who are meant to be in my life, impacted by my message, and who are meant to be my soulmate clients.

Everything happens for a reason.

I have so much trust and faith in Life and the Universe.

It can only get better from here— as I’ve consciously chosen to believe that “My life keeps getting better and better.”

It totally does.

And I am deeply grateful.

Thank you for being here.

Thank you for reading this.

Thank you for being on this journey with me and witnessing my evolution as I continue to grow and expand and share in this space.

And please— if there is anything I can do for you, feel free to reach out!! I WANT TO TAKE YOU WITH ME on this wild and wonderful journey of evolution, of growth, of beauty and wisdom and EMPOWERMENT!!

I want to help you OWN who you are, to get into ALIGNMENT, to discover what your PURPOSE and PASSION is in your own life!!

And above all, to guide you into this place where you too can BREAK THROUGH and fall in LOVE with yourself and your LIFE.

Because that is what it’s all about.

And I hope through my example that I can awaken within you this TRUTH that you can BE, DO or HAVE anything you want.

You deserve it!!

What do YOU dream of?

Sending soon much love and healing energy to you beautiful soul from somewhere high over the Pacific!! xo

In light + love,

Lauren Love