I woke up this morning and realized that I am completely alone. Completely and utterly alone— and I was okay with that.

I’m not talking about being lonely— this is very different. I just realized and have been realizing this a lot more lately— that I am completely alone on this journey. My soul is on its journey through this life and I am just a willing participant.

It is my job to go along with the flow of life, to enjoy, to live and love and fulfill my purpose here on this earth in this lifetime.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t have people in my life, or that I don’t have close relationships, because I do. I have an inner circle of people I am very close with, that know me intimately and deeply. I have another circle of friends and acquaintances, I actually have many many people in my life that I stay in contact with over the long term. So what I’m talking about here is not a lack of people or relationships or close bonding in life.

What I AM talking about is that I’ve made peace with the fact that I am on my soul’s unique journey and it is my journey alone, and I am completely okay with that.

This is VERY different from how I used to be.

For a long time I have looked outside myself for others to make me feel less alone. I was coming from a place of dependency, scarcity and need. I really thought that someone would show up and ‘save’ me from myself and ‘rescue’ me. I looked to others to define my path and who I was.

I looked outside of myself for happiness, approval, validation and a sense of enough-ness. I would feel it for a while, and then eventually it would dissipate, obviously because it was coming from outside of myself. I was looking for someone else to save me and take care of me, ultimately. I felt entitled to having a different life without having to do a damn thing to get it.

Which obviously is not a great way to live life, right? Always looking outside of ourselves for happiness and validation and approval is the quickest way to unhappiness, despair and misery, as it is not based in anything INTERNAL.

What I realized is that I had to be okay on my own if I was ever to have a sense of stability, of confidence and worth that was unshakeable. If I was relying on someone or something outside of me to define me and help me and save me, then essentially I would always be disappointed.

When this was my life, I remember feeling like I was all over the place— and it was because I was looking outside of myself for answers, for approval, for someone to save me. My worth was based on something external, so of course it felt out of control and all over the place.

When I started to define myself by my own beliefs about myself and the world and I started to look inside of myself for answers, this is when my life began to shift and change magically.

I began to source my worth from the inside rather than looking for someone or something to tell me what I was worth.

I began to tell myself all the things I wish others had told me growing up.

This was really in fact one of the hardest parts of the journey for me! Because I didn’t feel like I got what I needed growing up emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

I felt spiritually empty and had to begin to fill myself up with resources that I had never had before— and it felt awkward and scary! I felt even more lonely going through that process because it was as if I didn’t even know myself anymore. I was letting go of my old self to become who I wanted to be— and felt uncertain as to how that would turn out and felt scared a lot of the time.

But I needed to develop a reliance on self, a self-sufficiency that could not be changed or shifted by anything that happens outside of me. THIS is what really helped me to create a sense of unshakeable sense of self worth and love for myself that I had never experienced from anyone else outside of myself.

I wanted to be okay with being alone and not feel lonely.

That was the challenge! For so long I desperately wanted someone to fill my void that nothing could fill— no amount of food, drugs, sex, men, or weight loss could actually change the deep inner hole that I felt back then.

I was so damn lonely and desperate for anything outside of myself to ‘fix’ me, to ‘save’ me, to ‘rescue’ me…

I HATED being by myself and felt like crawling out of my skin anytime I had to sit with myself.

However I saw this to be a great opportunity to discover myself, to figure myself out and ultimately turn this into my greatest gift…

And by doing the work on myself I found within myself a deep reserve of my own inner love, my own inner ‘savior’…

She shared with me that I don’t need anyone or anything to save me or fix me or change me… that I am ENOUGH exactly as I am.

That it is okay and in fact so IMPORTANT to our growth to learn how to be alone without being lonely.

I am grounded in this truth and revel in my ‘alone’ time now.

I know I am whole and complete in myself.

I want you to also know that you have this inner reserve of wisdom and love deep within your soul, just waiting for you to call on her…

Your inner guide is there for you when you are ready to develop this deep, fulfilling and loving relationship with yourself in a way you never even imagined…

It is unlike any other relationship you’ve ever had in your life…

And in order for you to truly break free of your limiting patterns and your not-enough-ness in this world, it is CRUCIAL for you to develop this deep inner bond with yourself.

It is nourishing, it is loving, it is DIVINE.

It feels so good to know that I don’t need anyone or anything to feel good enough or to make me happy. That I am enough and I have enough exactly where I am right now.

Which in fact is exactly what draws more to me— when I am in a state of total gratitude, abundance and bliss within myself— is when all that I desire is able to finally flow TO me and THROUGH me.

It is an attitude of ENOUGH-ness, of GRATITUDE and BEING that allows all of your dreams to come true.

An attitude of scarcity, of lack, of desperation and neediness is what will repel all good things from you. When we desperately try to grasp and ‘get’ things from others, we end up pushing them away and not creating what it is we ultimately want in life.

I believe we all just want to be happy and fulfilled. We want to live lives of purpose, of passion, and joy. The only way to do this is to really dive deep within yourself and identify any of those blocks that you have in receiving it.

What I’ve realized is that the only way to get there, is to go deep within and know that you have everything you need already inside.

Your path is your path alone and that you will find your way.

I invite you to TRUST in your path, to have complete and radical trust that you can OVERCOME when you tap into your deep inner riches, resources and wisdom that are already inside of you.

Know that no one outside of you can do this for you.

Nothing outside of you is going to change how you feel on the inside.
This is an ‘inside’ job. The way to having anything in life is going within, tuning in, developing a deep, rich and fulfilling relationship with self.

In that way then, you always know that you are enough. That you have enough. That there will always be enough. And there is nothing to fear in that.

You can be alone and not be lonely. In fact, you will find that the deeper your connection is with yourself, the deeper you can connect with others.

Ultimately we come to find that we must own our own paths, and let others follow theirs as well.

What I’ve realized is that—

I have to do what is right for me, always. I have to be okay with following my own path and not letting others define me or my worth.

I can’t control anyone or anything outside of me.

I can’t expect someone else to save me or have the answer.

That all I have to do is show up, go within, be myself and follow my own path, my own internal guidance system and intuition.

In that there is a great peace and freedom in knowing internally that I am enough, and I can be okay with myself NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS externally outside of me.

When it comes to other people and what I would like to have happen outside of me— I can set powerful intentions and take action towards creating exactly what I want in my life, but ultimately? That shit is up to God and the Universe to decide whether or not to deliver it to me, if that is what is in the Divine Plan for my life.

I trust in the Universe and I LET GO of the outcome, knowing that I don’t NEED anything to happen, I don’t need to HAVE anything else in order for me to be happy and fulfilled.

And this only comes from a place of peace, of feeling enough and having complete and radical TRUST in the Universe.

I know this to be true.

Now it is time to walk the path.

In light + love,

Lauren Love