There is nothing more satisfying. 

Then the feeling of finally —

After fighting and pushing and laboriously going inward to dissect what has been going on internally

To find that everything that has been holding you back and keeping you stuck — can be quickly and easily dissolved

With a drop of a hat

Everything you thought you needed to hold on to—

YOU LET GO OF JUST LIKE THAT

Confused?

Let’s start at the beginning. So there’s some kind of pattern that is repeating in your life. Some kind of negative pattern that keeps repeating over and over again, and you HATE it. You wish you could stop it but as hard as you try— you can’t. It seems impossible. You feel broken and stupid and lonely, as if you’re the only one in the whole world who struggles with this and ‘why the hell can’t I just get over this and make it work?!’ kind of energy all day every day.

Well- this is a great indication that there is some kind of trauma pattern going on underneath that is keeping you stuck. Because! If you were to let go of that pattern — it would be THE KEY to allowing you to move forward fully and truly.

But what is it that is keeping you stuck? Within the pattern is a few things— first it is comfortable and normal for you. Most likely you grew up with some kind of similar pattern that embedded it in your psyche and now it is ‘programmed in’ to you as your default setting. There is nothing wrong with this, it can be unlearned and re-programmed so to speak, but not without some effort and conscious attention put forth towards creating the new pattern.

Second, it is a pattern made up of three things: it is a set of emotions, beliefs, and behaviors. Therefore, if you are to CHANGE the pattern you have to identify what the pattern is made of at its core so you can dismantle it and ultimately shift it.

For example, for the last couple of years I have been struggling with this pattern that has been holding me back from sharing my message and ultimately helping the people I am here to help. I WANT to be messaging and coaching and helping and serving people — however the pattern I developed has been keeping me stuck and stopping me from doing that.

When I unpack the pattern, I find that underneath the pattern are negative emotions such as feelings of unworthiness, guilt and shame, and limiting beliefs such as, “you’ll never be good enough to do that again” kinds of beliefs.

SUPER annoying to me, albeit true in the moment, and when we become aware of the pattern we are running in our lives — that is when we are in the point of power to be able to change it.

SO in identifying the pattern — I can see that the emotions are tied to when I closed my business down years ago. I felt guilty and ashamed to do so, and I kept hidden the fact that I was actually very sick and needed help.

I wasn’t being true and authentic with myself, let alone my audience.

I felt ashamed about that and the way that I feel like I abandoned my following.

I have since had to forgive myself for this and affirm to myself that I was just doing the best I could at the time, and there was nothing I could have done differently— as I can’t go back and change it. I can learn the lessons from it but ultimately it is what it is.

Now is the time when I am coming back to say I messed up and I am sorry. But really— no one probably cares, it’s just something that I need to do for myself.

This is extremely difficult because I want my comeback piece to be perfect but it’s really never going to be.

I just want to write deeply and from the heart.

Back to this article.

Next step is to allow yourself to process through and release the emotions. Really let them go, and forgive yourself for whatever you are feeling bad about in the situation.

For me, I’ve had to learn how to be easier on myself and not be so hard on myself.

Life is WAY easier when I support myself and I’m not beating up on myself all the time!

Then you get to choose into new beliefs that suit the new pattern better, that suit the next level version of you that you are growing into.

Things like, “I am who I am and people can either love or hate me — but that has nothing to do with me. I can only show up and do my best, and love myself knowing that I am proud of who I am.”

That is really where I’m at. Just learning to be proud of who I am. Not being ashamed of my failures but rather embracing them.

Because God knows we all have failures. We all fall down. I know it sounds so cliche but it’s really how we choose to get up from our failures and mistakes that matters.

Everyone in life is going to have setbacks— it’s really how we choose to move forward that matters.

That’s how you really get unstuck— is you take all the energy you used to use to hold yourself back and beat yourself up for your mistakes— and you put all your energy into creating the new.

Not giving a f*ck about what anyone else thinks.*

Because you only have ONE LIFE to live.

How are you going to choose to live it?

In love

Lauren Love