Most people want a cookie-cutter formula for how to make their first six figures online as a business owner.
There are unlimited strategies that could help you get there… but the question isn’t, “do you have the right STRATEGY” …it’s, “do you have the right MINDSET to set yourself up for success in the long run?”
I realized that the biggest thing that held me back when I was in the beginning stages of growing my business was my limiting beliefs and old programming.
I knew WHAT to do, I just couldn’t do it.
I hear this a lot from people that they have the steps, they know exactly what to do— when it comes to EXECUTING, that is where they fall short.
Why? Why do we do this? Why do we make big promises to ourselves and then fall short on execution?
This has nothing to do with strategies and everything to do with your inner game.
Because if you don’t possess the correct mindset, you will always fail over and over again no matter how hard you try.
So what is the answer? How do we discipline ourselves to execute at a high level and do what we say we want to do?
The first step for me is realizing that everything I want is on the other side of fear and resistance.
It’s realizing that everything BIG and WORTHWHILE that I desire to create in my life will NOT be easy to attain.
It’s recognizing that the most rewarding things will take time, effort and discipline to bring forth, and recognizing that we can’t skip any steps. There are no shortcuts to success.
It’s also accepting that there WILL be fear. I WILL encounter massive amounts of resistance to do the thing that I want the MOST.
This is an interesting concept because there are also philosophies that tell you to take the path of least resistance. That can be helpful in certain situations but when we are talking about being wildly successful, here’s what you have to consider.
Success in anything you desire means getting really good at a few skills and executing them on a high level over and over again, even when you don’t feel like it. Even when everything inside of you tells you “NO, STOP, what are you DOING!? I don’t want to, this isn’t comfortable, UGH I’ll just start tomorrow when I feel ready…“
Sound familiar?
It is the voice inside of you of your inner critic, your inner bitch, the resistance that wants you to FAIL… that wants you to stay COMFORTABLE… that wants you to stay the SAME…
We have to become aware of that voice consciously and understand that getting what we want does NOT happen by allowing this voice to take over and go the route of least resistance.
ON THE CONTRARY!!! We must hear and listen to that voice and then ACTIVELY DEFY IT!!!
We must tell that voice to SHUT THE FUCK UP.
We must recognize that the voice you are hearing in your head that is telling you — “WAIT, no, stop, you’re not good enough, you can’t do this, you’re not talented enough, you’re not READY, just wait until TOMORROW”— is a LIAR.
That voice is AGAINST your success.
Now comes the actual work.
The work becomes then… being aware of that voice and NOT listening to it.
The work becomes then… choosing to take action DESPITE feeling the fear, anxiety, or uncertainty.
The work becomes DISCIPLINING YOURSELF in the face of fear even when you don’t want to. (Because it’s not “you” that doesn’t want to, it’s this inner bitch voice!!)
I learned everything I know about success in business from successfully recovering from bulimia.
For years, I had this inner voice that I called “Mia” that fueled the dysfunction and drove the eating disorder behaviors.
She HATED me… she wanted me DEAD. She told me that I was fat, disgusting, and that no one liked me. She told me that I wasn’t worth anything and deserved to die an early death. SERIOUSLY this is why I stayed stuck in the vicious binge/purge cycle for years… because I honestly believed that I was a piece of shit and that I deserved to suffer.
It wasn’t until I woke up to the fact that I could “hear” that voice — but I didn’t have to IDENTIFY with it, that things started to change for me.
I recognized that actually, deep down— I was NOT that voice.
She was NOT me.
That voice was INSIDE me, and that part of me was developed through trauma and my dysfunctional past, and Mia evolved as a way to “protect” me and keep me “safe.”
What I started to realize was that I DIDN’T NEED TO LISTEN TO THAT VOICE ANYMORE.
I realized what she was telling me was all LIES.
I was finally able to wake up and begin to listen to the voice of my TRUE AUTHENTIC SELF.
The way that I was able to recover was to recognize that the eating disorder voice was NOT ME and I needed to STOP IDENTIFYING with it…. And then all I needed to do was tune into the voice of my TRUE SELF for truth, guidance, and direction.
I didn’t realize that this voice was inside of me the entire time; I was just blind to her existence.
Most women don’t trust themselves and stay identified with the inner critic that they actually never realize that they have a greater version of themselves inside of them that they are able to tap into.
The hard part of all of this, is that in order to begin to tune into and listen to this voice, is that you must DISCIPLINE YOURSELF to do so.
Your inner bitch voice will NOT want you to stop listening to and identifying with her.
This is why I say that DISCIPLINE EQUALS FREEDOM.
In the beginning, you must become aware of all the negative thoughts in your head, AND DECIDE TO CHOOSE NEW LOVING THOUGHTS INSTEAD.
What I’ve found is that this takes an incredible amount of effort, intention and practice — but it IS possible.
So when you’re growing your business or you’re trying to overcome some kind of dysfunctional behavior that is holding you back or keeping you stuck, here’s some steps that you can take to help you discipline yourself to success:
1. Become aware of the negative thoughts you experience repeatedly. Most of us have a story that we tell ourselves about why we can’t have what it is we want. This story contains limiting beliefs as well as emotions that keep us trapped in dysfunctional loops. Things like, “I’m not good enough. I don’t see how it’s possible. I’m not sure that’s even possible. I don’t know if I am worthy or deserving of having what I desire.” Etc.
Then we might feel ashamed, guilty, angry, sad, frustrated or depressed. Then we feel worse and it fuels even more of those limiting beliefs that tell us, “see I told you, you’re not good enough, you don’t have what it takes, etc.” This is a dangerous loop to be in, and is important that you recognize it right away and become aware of the warning signs that you’re sliding down a slippery slope into negativity.
2. Choose to dis-identify with those thoughts.
This is probably the hardest part of the process because in those times when we are feeling SO BAD, the last thing we want to do is interrupt the pattern. But that is what you MUST do if you want to re-program yourself for success.
This might sound like saying to yourself out loud, “I hear you and I am choosing NOT to believe you!!”
It might look like sitting down to write out what that voice is saying to you in conversation form and talking back to it:
-Bitch voice: “You’re not good enough, just give up and watch Netflix, you know that you’re not going to figure this out so you might as not even try. Give yourself a break…”
–Authentic Voice: “I hear you and that’s not true!! I am capable of overcoming this and am choosing NOT to listen to you, EFF OFF!”
I’ve found these techniques to be VERY helpful to recognize when I’m sliding down a slippery slope into the negative thoughts from that part of me.
In this step it’s important to recognize that we don’t want to get emotionally triggered by this, the goal is simply to neutralize the voice. It’s becoming aware that the voice is there and simply choosing not to believe anything it says.
3. Decide what you DO want to believe as the truth.
Once we recognize what you don’t want, now it’s up to you to choose a NEW LOVING and supportive thought.
We have to re-program our brains with new thoughts that eventually become an entirely new operating system for your brain.
But if you’re just stopping the negative thoughts and beliefs and not replacing them with anything, you will stay in that old place forever.
It’s important to affirm to yourself what you DO want and remind yourself of WHO YOU ARE.
Sometimes it literally takes everything I have inside of me to conjure up new, positive, loving thoughts — but THAT is the work, my darling!!
If you thought this would be EASY, you are mistaken!! In order to have something you’ve never had, you’ve got to become someone you’ve never been before. INCLUDING new thoughts and beliefs to support this new vision and version of yourself.
I sit myself down and talk real talk to myself. I remind myself, “I AM capable, I AM worthy of my desires, God is on my side, I am being guided and protected every step of the way. Everything I need and want is coming to me now. All of life is organizing around my success. I CAN do this!!” Tell yourself the OPPOSITE of the negative voice you’re hearing in your head.
That’s it.
This is why I say DISCIPLINE EQUALS FREEDOM.
Because the more you practice these steps and dis-identifying with that bitch-ass voice inside of you, the stronger your true authentic voice becomes. She doesn’t grow by ignoring her and pretending that one day she’s just going to pop out of no where and guide your life.
She comes by intentionally choosing to listen to her, to let go of the old negative limiting beliefs and thoughts, and re-program yourself with everything you know to be true about yourself, your potential, and your ability to achieve your dreams.
The practice is continuing to show up for yourself day in and day out, to not only do the STRATEGIC activities you need to do to grow your business, to create massive change and transformation in your life— but also do the DEEPER work that is required, otherwise it will never happen for you.
Well, externally you may produce some type of result, sure— but deep down you will still be the insecure, moody, frustrated and unworthy version of yourself, and you’ll never be happy or satisfied with your life when you’re stuck in those places.
It’s SO important to do the deeper transformational work on yourself FIRST so that you create a business and life you ACTUALLY LOVE, that provides a deep level of purpose and passion and one that you KNOW you’re showing up as your best self.
SO DO THE WORK and remember that DISCIPLINE EQUALS FREEDOM.
You got this.
In love + massive success,
xo Lauren